tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7502307737528869885.post1569043355713487755..comments2023-10-18T04:53:53.843-07:00Comments on Finnian's Journey: MusingsLisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07604477175816651214noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7502307737528869885.post-1671850733960749592014-10-19T09:19:57.849-07:002014-10-19T09:19:57.849-07:00Hi Lisa,
I just recently found your blog and I...Hi Lisa,<br /><br />I just recently found your blog and I'm reading about your journey with great interest. I know this is a very old post, and I'm sure you probably know this by now.... but on this particular post, no one addressed your question about whether people would choose a special needs child. The answer is yes! Lots of people choose to adopt children with Ds. There are adoption agencies dedicated to the placement of families with children who have Ds... And families that wait for years to be able to finally bring their children home. I'm looking forward to seeing how things go with your lovely family, but I have to read blogs chronologically - I just can't bring myself to skip ahead. So it will be a while, I guess. I hope all is well with you.Tara dShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18092583748244884493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7502307737528869885.post-56733334572299737022008-09-23T12:23:00.000-07:002008-09-23T12:23:00.000-07:00I found your blog through Pinwheels. I was interes...I found your blog through Pinwheels. I was interested in it because I love, love, love the name Finn. I wanted it for one of our boys, but it doesn't go well with our last name. Your son is beautiful.<BR/><BR/>I have identified with everything you've written here. The first months can be so hard. Take it from someone who has been through it (my son with DS is 2), it really, really does get easier. There are still days where the DS slaps me in the face, just when I least expect it, but more often than not, we're just going about our lives. One foot in front of the other.<BR/><BR/>I look forward to reading more!Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10340382856096365272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7502307737528869885.post-71964869012058465042008-09-21T17:56:00.000-07:002008-09-21T17:56:00.000-07:00Wow, great post! I wish I could speed read right n...Wow, great post! I wish I could speed read right now and catch up on all you've had to say because it's so real and it's so raw and I can truly appreciate how you feel. <BR/><BR/>I like what rickismom said...if folks convince themselves that we're "special" then they somehow feel that this can't happen in their own lives. Special my behind.<BR/>I posted about this recently.Crittlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08868628035597050680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7502307737528869885.post-4488384653509842642008-09-16T21:41:00.000-07:002008-09-16T21:41:00.000-07:00We're all scared to be trusted with our kids!We're all scared to be trusted with our kids!doulamomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16393077582568990579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7502307737528869885.post-85786581594473149632008-09-14T15:06:00.000-07:002008-09-14T15:06:00.000-07:00Lisa,You know my thoughts about being "chosen" for...Lisa,<BR/>You know my thoughts about being "chosen" for this parenting path and I'm not sure how I would answer your question about choosing it if given the choice. I don't think you have to be a perfect parent to be the best mom for Finn though. Unlimited patience won't prepare him for the world anyway - love, understanding, and a safe place to fall is what you offer and all he needs. I don't think you have to be "special" to do this.Jodihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03300744597412386450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7502307737528869885.post-30383056441739170202008-09-11T22:42:00.000-07:002008-09-11T22:42:00.000-07:00Look, most of what people say to you are to "comfo...Look, most of what people say to you are to "comfort" you... to be sure to stop you before you say something negative that they can't deal with. This is not a conscious thing, but it is there. The first time my best friend (best friend, for crying out loasd!) gave me the "special people" line,after Ricki's birth, I looked her in the eye:<BR/> "We all have our own failings, and usually try our best that others shouldn't see those lacks. Each of us knows that he is a normal person. If YOU can convince yourself that I got this child (with Down s)because I am "special", then YOU feel that you don't have to worry.<BR/> Well, I hate to tell you, but it happens to plain old regular folks like me."<BR/> However, the experience of raising a child with special needs will usually give the parents a chance to grow.rickismomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07817042750959998664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7502307737528869885.post-73386270424472739072008-09-11T19:52:00.000-07:002008-09-11T19:52:00.000-07:00I have been following Finn's story, and many of yo...I have been following Finn's story, and many of your posts made me cry. I am the mother of three children, one of them is autistic. I have heard the 'special mom' comment too. I never felt like I was so special to begin with. I always thought I was a mom doing the best she could :) Each of my kids teached me something new, but my autistic son brought me to places I never thought I would go. It is a gift to have him in my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I learned to appreciate the small sucesses, the amazing sound of a word that he finally can speak. I have learned to appreciate to effort more than the end results, I have learned to take my time and enjoy each and every moment. I don't think I could have learned all that if my kid didn't have special needs. So, yes, I really think it is a gift that was given to my family. Somedays are harder than I can say, but I still wouldn't change a thing about him.<BR/><BR/>You are doing a wonderful job with Finn, and he is a beautiful baby.Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12935250722094693568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7502307737528869885.post-35779641244530171282008-09-11T17:28:00.000-07:002008-09-11T17:28:00.000-07:00Finn was born with Ds, he may have some health/cog...Finn was born with Ds, he may have some health/cognitive challenges and he will overcome them too, because Finn is bigger/much more than Ds. Finn is someone who loves, accepts and respects you unconditionally, he always will. Finn is here to teach you about strength, determination, courage, patience and tolerance. Finn is here to teach about what is really important in life. Finn is here to teach to be a better person. Lisa, when I see a child or adult with Ds, all I can see is their beauty and If given the choice, I will choose to have a child with Ds.~KC:https://www.blogger.com/profile/03349161257792811578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7502307737528869885.post-71092147556498333482008-09-11T16:04:00.000-07:002008-09-11T16:04:00.000-07:00LisaI have 2 kids and I love them equally, with ze...Lisa<BR/>I have 2 kids and I love them equally, with zero standard of error, even tho they are different. No question. In my musing moments of comparison of the two, that still holds true. The joys and worries and stress while I raised them, different for each--are now irrelevant to my enduring love for them both. I hurt inside, when I know that one or both are hurting or struggling, but the love is a constant and its depth enriches me throughout my life, even when entangled with their pain and mine. I recognize that neither of my kids have DS, but that you do have one. Still, I betcha a dollar your love is equal for all 6, that it will endure for all time, and that your love for them all, and the ensuing richness-- will trump the stress of life that lies ahead. <BR/><BR/>As for taking the "deal", as a dad to be? I'd have to think that one over, and wonder why it would be offered. It seems an unfair deal on the surface. <BR/><BR/>JoeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7502307737528869885.post-69941257987042474932008-09-11T14:00:00.000-07:002008-09-11T14:00:00.000-07:00I know there is nothing I can say (defintaley noth...I know there is nothing I can say (defintaley nothing I can do being on the other side of the world) to comfort you Lisa. I agree, I understand and you were 'special' before you had Finn I can assure you. ((((HUGS))))Angiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03352252890226423418noreply@blogger.com