JULY 20, 2008

Today is Michael's and my 7th wedding anniversary :) Having Finn home with us is the best anniversary gift I could have asked for.

Things are going pretty well at home. Going to bed last night, Michael and I were faced with a couple of dilemmas: where to put the baby to sleep, first of all. The bassinet is set up right next to my side of the bed, but in all honesty, all of our babes have spent their first few months of life sleeping in our bed, despite there being a bassinet next to the bed. I think we are both tweaked from the whole hospital experience . . . convinced that Finn is somehow sick or more fragile than a "normal" baby, when in truth he is not. I told Michael that I think he should sleep with us. Michael asked, "Aren't you concerned about rolling over on him or something?" And I told him no, not any more so than I was with any of the other babies. So he went to bed snuggled between us, which felt completely right. The second dilemma was: should we set the alarm to wake up to feed him in the night? While I realize that feeding is his main challenge right now, again, it just seems silly to me to be all paranoid and not trust that he would wake when he was hungry. So no alarm.

We didn't go to bed until around midnight, and he woke on his own around 3:00 a.m., and I sat up with him and nursed him on both sides. Michael asked if he should give him a bottle to top him off and I said I didn't think he needed it, it seemed like he nursed pretty well. We went back to bed and woke up around 6:30 I guess . . . and Finn's diaper was dry. This concerned both of us because it indicated that he didn't take in much fluid during the night. I nursed him again, and then Michael gave him a bottle, and shortly after he had a huge poop explosion - a very good thing!

Since then, I've nursed him a few times, and he really seems to be doing well with it. He latches on easily, and actively sucks and swallows, and willingly takes both sides. He has not had a supplemental bottle since first thing this morning, and he is producing wet and poopy diapers, so I'm assuming he's getting enough from me. I still worry, and I still don't want to count our chickens before the hatch, but we seem to be off to a pretty good start here. I'm tempted to buy a breastfeeding scale just so I can weigh him before and after each feeding, but then I tell myself that we don't want or need to be slaves to the numbers. If he were any other baby, we wouldn't be worrying about all this. Having him hooked up to tubes and monitors for nearly two weeks shook our confidence I think.

Aside from the feeding issues, Finn really seems to be a very calm and content baby. He is having more alert/awake periods and he just quietly looks around, taking it all in. The constant noise and chaos of our crazy house doesn't seem to phase him a bit, and he sleeps peacefully even with the other kids banging, stomping, and yelling their way through the house.

Michael is going to go back to the office tomorrow, but will come home by mid-afternoon. His firm has been so great about giving him the time he needs through this ordeal, but it's time to make the transition back to working in the office. This week he will do a combo of working in the office and working from home. I have the nanny coming 3 days this week, 4 hours each of those days, to look after the other kids for me, which will definitely help, but I'm still feeling anxious about flying solo with Finn and the other kids.