Thursday, March 12, 2009

Nighttime

I sit with him in the dim light of evening
Gently rocking,
Cradling his head as he drinks my milk.
I feel his body slowly go limp,
His eyes grow heavy
As I whisper to him,
I love you
I love you
Go to sleep, my sweet boy.

And sleep he does,
For a little while.
And then,
Just as sleep is finding me,
I hear him stir . . .
And his stirring becomes more insistent
Until I go to him.
I should sit up with him and put him back down
In his own bed,
I think to myself.
But I'm too tired to teach him how to sleep alone.

And so I cradle him next to me,
Feeling the warm weight of him,
Smelling the sweet smell of him,
Listening to his suckling as he drifts off to sleep again.
And I think to myself,
This isn't so bad.

As the night wears on, this scene replays over and over:
He awakens,
He fusses,
I turn over and resettle with him,
But he fusses some more,
Demanding what?
I don't know.
My head hurts,
I only want to sleep.
Please let me sleep,
I tell him.
I offer him my warmth,
My milk,
And finally he settles.
And I think to myself,
This isn't so bad.

How much later,
I don't know
It's the same thing again.
I'm tired
I'm frustrated.
Let me sleep,
I tell him.
We dance the dance again,
And finally he drifts off,
And I think to myself,
I will do anything for you.

15 comments:

Nicole O'Dell said...

perfect. beautiful. bookmarked.

Wendy P said...

Lovely, lovely! (and now I'm crying.)

Liz said...

Very sweet. Very real. Very good!

Sarah said...

I love that!

Chrystal said...

So sweet. I love it.

Kristin said...

Those words could have been written by so many of us.

Heather said...

I second Kristin

Kim said...

beautifully written!

Mrs. Mother said...

I love it. What a beautiful poem.

Carla said...

Beautiful, Lisa.

Lovin Mama said...

So touching. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Jeanette said...

I have lived that poem. It reminded me of the song by Trace Atkins, "You're gonna miss this". I just weaned Syd last month. This made me cry.

Hector and Jennifer Varanini Sanchez said...

Beautiful. Thank you for the reminder to cherish those little nursing moments while they still last.

Loren Stow said...

what beautiful words! how true and how touching!

Andrea said...

Lisa, that was beautiful, and so *real*. thank you.