I feel compelled to confess this since I made such a big, sad deal about him weaning. I was sad, and I did feel an emptiness at that passing, one which I had been unprepared for. But I was prepared to accept it, that he was done, that our nursing time was over. I did continue to pump and mix breast milk with his food so that he would continue to get the good nutrition and calories since cup/straw feeding is still eluding us.
But he got sick about a week ago. It started with a high fever (he was the fourth of my kids to get it) which lasted for about three days, during which time he was barely eating anything. I was very concerned about his lack of fluid intake during that time, so I stealthily crept into his room at night and slipped him the boob when he was mostly asleep, hoping to get some fluids into him that way. And surprise, surprise, after weeks of near-violent biting and then flat out refusal, he accepted. So for a couple days, it was just like that - at night and sneaky. But then he began accepting it while awake and alert as well, and now we're back to nursing several times a day. And I'll be honest - I'm totally okay with this. I still treasure that closeness with him, that special time that only he and I share. And hey, he's getting the good stuff too :)
So, my secret is out.