Friday, October 2, 2009

He's weaned :(

All the biting Finn's been doing lately has finally led me to the conclusion that he's ready to wean. Actually, it was Sue, my midwife/friend who helped me see the light. We were on the phone the other night and she was offering suggestions on how to deal with Finn's biting, and she finally asked me, "Does he cry to be nursed?" And I said in a small voice, ". . . no." She said, "He's a smart boy, Lisa! He knows what he wants. He's trying to tell you that he's ready to stop nursing."

Ahhhh, it hit me squarely in the heart. I knew as soon as she said it that she was right.

It's so fraught with emotion for me. Finn and I overcame so many breastfeeding hurdles early on - I still look back sometimes and am amazed that we were able to make it work. There was the delay in establishing breastfeeding because of his surgery; there were the nipple shields and lactation consultants and, oh god! the supplemental nursing system! There was all the anxiety over his struggle to gain weight. But we stuck it out and made it work and eventually established a beautiful nursing relationship, and Finn thrived.

And now it's over. He hasn't nursed for several days.

I wasn't ready for this. I really, really thought that this was just a speed bump and that we would struggle through it. I really thought I would nurse Finn for quite a while longer. I envisioned nursing him longer than any of my other babies - at least until he's two! Because after all, he has Down syndrome, he's more of a baby, he's more dependent . . . right? Wrong, apparently.

So I'm feeling sad. But also celebrating his desire to be a big boy.

The task now is to get him drinking from a vessel other than a boob. And in all honesty, that's not going so well. I really can't say if it's developmental on his part, or stubbornness, or what, but he fights anything I put in his mouth - straw, sippy, open cup, we've even resorted to trying a bottle. He fights them all equally. So I worry about his fluid intake, and therefore I am going to continue to pump for a while and make sure he gets some of the good stuff mixed with his food. So far this is working well enough to keep him hydrated - he's still pooping and peeing okay, which I take as the telling signs.

So. My baby is growing up.

14 comments:

Wendy P said...

Such a bittersweet milestone! I was so sad when Kira weaned.

Carla said...

Hugs hugs hugs, Lisa...and a few tears, too.

Laurie said...

Again - right there with you, my friend. We are on day 3 of weaning, and I have been surprised with all of my mixed emotions. I thought I would feel totally relieved and free, but I am actually quite sad about it.
Ah...our babies are growing up!
((Hugs))

ds.mama said...

I am feeling your pain too. I wanted Summer to nurse forever since she is my last baby. I was crushed whenshe started the biting at around a year old. She was done nursing by 13 mo.

I tried to explain to my husband that this chapter ending was so hard on me and he just didn't get it. But you do :-) A big hug is going out to you!

Jen said...

I'm sorry, Lisa. I know it's hard. I bet soon, though, you'll be glad to have your body back to yourself.

Hope you have a breakthrough with the drinking soon. Finn's, I mean. I know that YOU don't have a problem with that. :)

heidi marie said...

hang in there. i know it's tough on both sides. i do hope finnian finds something he likes to drink out of soon. it takes awhile.

Hector and Jennifer Varanini Sanchez said...

Hugs Lisa! I know how hard this is for you. It is so bittersweet. I will be going through the same thing soon enough. I think it's especially emotional when it's our last baby :(

Brandie said...

(((hugs))) It's so bittersweet when they wean. Goldie didn't drink well at Finn's age either. Pumping and adding it to his food sounds like the way to go.

Stephanie said...

Awww...bittersweet for sure. Hugs!

Chrystal said...

Aw, mama, I know how much this means to you. Big hugs.

SunflowerMom said...

What an emotional time! Hugs for both of you. I really hope he finds something he likes drinking from quickly. Have you done the honey bear with straw already? I'm sure an OT/ST already suggested that, but I thought I'd throw it out there anyway.

Maya said...

Aw. So hard. A big milestone, for both of you. It doesn't help that having him wean is going to affect your hormones and emotions too.

Hang in there.

Anna said...

I remember the day, well the 3 days, since I have three children. Ours always started with ear infections. Then they just wouldnt go back. Savor the time you had. If it helps....I understand.

Erin said...

Ah, here it is, I found it. :)