Thursday, April 8, 2010

The R-word: A Different Perspective



This morning somebody left a comment on a post I wrote a while back, Beaten Down. Since this person went to the trouble of trolling the internet looking for sites on which to share his/her thoughts, and then created a Blogger profile specifically for the purpose of leaving his/her thoughts on my blog, I don't want any of my readers to miss out on this person's words of wisdom:

Not only am I amazed by your reaction to a word, but more so that you feel the person who used it had somehow wronged you. It is unfortunate that so many people who have been cursed feel the need to use their grief as a weapon on others around them. Know this: You are not a hero; the world does not owe you anything because you created a defective child and you have no right to molest the lexicon to suit your unrealistic sensitivities. What's next? Outlaw the word fat, short or ugly because those words can be hurtful? You are the true monster here, not the ones who use your dreaded word. You are an enemy of free speech and therefore free thought.

Apparently not being satisfied with his/her own words, s/he went on to leave this comment just a few minutes later:

Not only am I amazed by your reaction to a word, but more so that you feel the person who used it had somehow wronged you. It is unfortunate that so many people who have been cursed feel the need to use their grief as a weapon on others around them. Know this: You are not a hero; the world does not owe you anything because you created a defective child and you have no right to molest the lexicon to suit your unrealistic sensitivities. What's next? Outlaw the word fat, short or ugly because those words can be hurtful?
I am sure it is stressful dealing with a handicapped child and you have every right to be offended, but to work to outlaw words is the first step in working to control other forms of expression.
The world should not have to walk on glass to suit your fear of semantics.


To this person, I have this to say:

First of all, I would like to extend my deepest apologies for the personal offense my defective child is to you. Likewise, I am truly and sincerely sorry for being the monster that I am for bringing such a child into the world and inflicting him on society. You are right: it is horribly wrong for me to expect or fight for compassion and acceptance for my child - or for anyone else for that matter. Your right to free speech is much, much more important. Your apparent philosophy is clearly the better way to ensure that the world is a safe, good place for everyone to live - at least the people who have a right to live, that is (excluding, of course, defective children like my own, gays, blacks and other people of inferior ethnicities, Jews, and, well, I'm sure we can all think of a lot more).

I have no doubt that your children - if you have children - are perfect specimens. You would not accept anything less, and rightly so. The world is blighted enough by inferior, defective people. You would abort any fetus that grew in your (or your wife's) womb that did not pass every possible test and screening for normalcy and perfection. And I don't blame you one bit. Raising a handicapped child is a burden so huge and monstrous and oppressive that I can't even begin to describe the hell I live in every day. I cry all the time, I can't eat or sleep, I have plum-colored circles under my eyes which tell of my continuous pain, and I wish only for the sweet mercy that death will bring me to deliver me from this hell.

However, I'm guessing that you don't have any children. A person as smart as you wouldn't take the risk, knowing that even a perfect fetus can grow up to become an alcoholic, a child-abuser, a drug addict, a homosexual, a hemophiliac, a person with autism, or a host of other things. You also no doubt realize that your perfect fetus could become maimed in a terrible freak accident, or become brain injured by sickness or accident. So, no, I'm sure that someone of your intelligence and wisdom wouldn't take the risk.

I have a few final words I'd like to say to you:

FUCKING LOSER. YOU ARE AN OOZING BOIL ON THE ASS OF HUMANITY.

Just exercisin' my right to free speech.

22 comments:

Deidre said...

Wow, Lisa. I am sorry you have to deal with idiots like this fine specimen. I think you are a trooper and a great mother, and I totally support your cause.

diane rene said...

sadly, those types of people lurk everywhere, just waiting to spew their sick and distorted views on anyone and every one. I got them on an adoption forum, my friend got them on a TTC forum, and now they are popping up in blogs.

must be a sad life to have to hunt down people to crap on. sorry this one found you, Lisa :(

heather said...

Well said, my friend!

sheree said...

Ahh. Ignorance at its finest! Makes me sick. Sorry you had to read that on your blog :(

Anna Alexandrova said...

I love your response, Lisa! And you know what, congratulations on your first real hate mail! This indicates that you are becoming famous.

On another note, more pix of Finn please!

Summer said...

It makes me sad that there are people like that out there. If they only knew how ignorant they are..

I love your rebuttal though!

Elizabeth said...

Well thank god someone is out there fighting for the right to say hurtful and nasty things about those less fortunate than themselves, because that sure seems like a good use of time. Way to bring that extra something positive to the world.

Jennifer said...

Hi there, I have never left a comment before- I tend to just wander from blog to blog, enjoying posts but never really commenting. I have to speak up now....that person is, UGH!!! It's sad, I am sad for them. My youngest sister has DS and I cant even begin to explain how much she has shaped our family, my career (I am a Speech-Language Pathologist) and every life she seems to come in contact with. Great response, thanks for taking a stand! Now, post some more pictures of those adorable kids!!!! :)

5 Kids With Disabilities said...

I could not BELIEVE what he/she wrote!!!! It is discouraging to think that people like that walk among us...
Lindsey Petersen

onlywhoiam said...

Lisa, you are brilliant. xo jen

Mel said...

I cannot believe that anyone would have the gall to put that comment on your blog. Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.

Crittle said...

Hate the sentiments of the commenter. Love the response of the blogger. Keep fighting the good fight, L!

Maureen said...

I'm sorry you received such a negative comment on your blog but WOW, what a great rebuttal on your part. You sure have a way with words. Well said indeed!

Sasha said...

Wow. I am speechless at what they are thinking and wrote on your blog. I am sorry that you had to read that on your blog. Love your response though. Good for you.

Lisa said...

speechless... yet I leave smiling. well done. I think I would have started and ended with your "final words" :)

Stephanie said...

3 words: WTF!!

Loren Stow said...

It's amazing what people can convince themselves is acceptable behaviour...
What a freakin' **%@#$#@#(&*)(@#*!!
Great response though - hope they actually read it!

alyny said...

OMFG!!! I am hope that vile person is not nor will ever be a parent. The idea that someone as ignorant and hate filled could possibly raise children scares me.

Laurie said...

Oh my...!! Oozing boil indeed!!

xoxo

The Marquez Family said...

Your kids get it. Your husband gets it. You inspired me to get it, and now my kids (and my husband!) get it. I, personally, am thrilled that you have chosen to make people aware of what a hurtful word it is.

Seriously--what a douche.

Ruby's Mom said...

OMG,I love your response!

LJ said...

I love your comeback!! Those words are much more nicer than the R word.

From a mama with a multiply disabled son.