It's interesting to see, with all the kids I have, the alliances that have developed. Finn and Lilah, they're tight, those two. At twenty-one months apart, they're the closest to each other in age aside from the twins. I always knew they loved each other and got along well, but since Lilah started attending preschool recently, I'm really seeing how close they really are. The three mornings a week that Lilah isn't here, although I try to do things to keep Finn occupied and entertained, I can see that he misses his sister. He often wanders aimlessly from room to room, I'm sure looking for her. Yesterday when I picked Lilah up from school, her teacher reported to me that she was sad and out of sorts in the morning, saying "I want Finnian."
And when they're together, it's a joy to behold. Lilah sings silly songs to Finn, she "reads" books to him, she finds things for him to bang on because she knows he loves to bang on things. She talks to him with the assumption that he understands everything she's saying, and she also speaks to him in his language; there is often a volley of "Babababababa," and "Da ... da ... da ... DAHHHHHHHH!" between them, and then they both crack up as if over some joke only the two of them get. She hugs him with abandon, and often. She cheers for him without condescension, and helps him without pity.
And you know what? She has no idea that he's different. Sure he's two years old and then some, and he doesn't walk yet or say much in the way of real words. Sure he gets a kick out of pulling hair, and he can often be seen with his tongue protruding from his mouth. To Lilah, Finn is just Finn, and he's always been the way he is, and it means nothing to her. He's just her baby brother.
And yes, she is blissfully ignorant of his impairments and limitations. The day will come, I'm sure, when she will be more conscious of his differences. But I think she'll still love him and accept him without reservation even then.
I wish the whole world could see Finn through Lilah's eyes.
Adieu - After more than two years and 555 posts (556 counting this one!), I'm saying goodbye to Adventures in Motherhood. I'm ready for a change, and I've started ...
6 years ago