A better day?

So far the day is shaping up to go more smoothly than yesterday did. Finnian is actually sleeping peacefully in his bouncy seat and I've managed to get a few things done this morning and haven't yelled at the kids yet ;)

So . . . about accepting help. Of course I feel bad now that my venting yesterday brought a slew of new offers to help out. The truth is, we really are getting lots of help - more than I would ever feel comfortable accepting under normal circumstances (and even under the present circumstances, it's hard for me to accept). Meals are still being brought to our house. Friends are taking the boys places. And we have the part-time nanny. All of these things have been a tremendous help. But even so, this has still been, and will continue to be for some time to come, I'm sure, a time of major adjustment. And with that will come ups and downs, and I will feel compelled to vent. I just don't want anyone to think that it's a ploy to get more offers of help. Everyone has done so much already.

And yes, it is very difficult for me to accept help in any shape or form. It's not because I have this need to be superwoman - believe me, I fall far short of that every moment of every day. I've just been looking after myself since I was a kid, and I have this aversion to feeling indebted to anyone - especially when I know I can't repay the debt. I mean, seriously - there is just no way I can foresee ever being in a position to take YOUR kids off your hands. And when the checks and balances don't balance out, I lose sleep over it. Yep, I'm neurotic - but a lot of you already knew that.

Anyway, this is becoming way too much about me, and it's supposed to be about baby Finnian.

So today is shaping up to be a better day. Stay tuned.