Sunday, July 13, 2008

DAY 7: JULY 13, 2008

Today was a really good day :) Finn made lots of progress. They took him off the bili lights, off the oxygen, and removed the tube that was draining his stomach, as it had progressed from bile and blood to clear fluid. He is also maintaining his body temp well, so he's off the warmer as well and will likely be moved into a crib soon, and out of his private room. As much as I like having a private room because of the . . . well, privacy! - his being moved out of a private room is a great sign of his progress.

I took Kevin and Joey with me to see Finn this morning, and Joey, especially, couldn't get enough of touching him and loving on him.

Later, Michael and I went back together and spent a couple of hours with him. It's so nice to see his face without it being obscured by the tube in his nose and the nasal canula. He really is a cutie, and I see a lot of Kevin as a newborn in him. It's so funny - he hardly looks like a Morguess. All the Morguess babies are born with dark curly hair and brown eyes, and here we have a blonde-haired, blue eyed baby.

He's much calmer and more peaceful now that he's able to be swaddled again.

Michael and I stopped at Barnes & Noble before we went to the hospital to see if we could find any books on DS. They had four, and we bought all of them :/ And as we were waiting in line, there was a girl with DS also in line. Michael casually stretched and looked at me and whispered, "Coming out of the woodwork, huh?" Yup. Just like when we had the twins, we were under this misguided notion that twins were rare - nope! Suddenly there were twins everywhere. I have a feeling it will be very similar with DS . . . probably just because we are hyper-aware now.

We've struggled a bit about what to tell the kids, and we kind of came to the conclusion that none of this Down Syndrome stuff is going to mean much to the younger kids. They're probably too young to notice that anything might be "different" about Finn, and that's fine. But we did come to the conclusion that we needed to tell Kevin, because he's old enough to notice not only differences, but whispered conversations between me and Michael, and he's entitled to not be shut out. So when we got home, he noticed the Barnes & Noble bag (of course - his favorite store), and asked what we got, so it was a good conversation opener. I didn't make it all serious by taking him in the bedroom and sitting him down and making it all seem scary. I just told him in the kitchen that Finnian has something that's called Down Syndrome (he's heard of it but wasn't sure what it was), that we aren't sure what it's going to mean for him. He asked some questions, like what makes DS people different, and we told him that sometimes they're slower to learn things and to be able to do certain things, and sometimes they have special health issues, but that for now, aside from this surgery Finn had to have, the doctors think he's very healthy and we'll just have to wait and see on the rest. I told him that no matter what, he's our new baby, and his brother, and that's what matters the most.

I think Kevin is sad about it. I told him it's okay to be sad about it, that I'm sad about it and that I've cried a lot about it. But I told him we have to move forward and just love Finnian and give him the best life in our family that we can.


Some thoughts: I'm glad I didn't have any of the genetic screenings done while I was pregnant. I think knowing ahead of time that he has DS would have prevented me from being able to just enjoy the miracle of a baby growing inside me, and I would have spent all that time being sad and scared. I might even have chosen (or allowed myself to be talked into) to have him in the hospital intead of at home - which would have been completely unnecessary. I'm glad he was born at home, peacefully into the water and pulled up with loving hands, and that he got to spend that first day close to and loved by his family.


sakun said...

hi lisa. it's saku. wow....what a range of emotions I have had reading & catching up on all that you & michael have been thru! I can only begin to imagine what you guys have experienced thus far. first let me saw...WOW...what a beautiful baby finnian is....i cannot get over that blond hair...GORGEOUS! reading about his birth @ home had me in tears...what a wonderful experience even with the screaming. I am not going to say this is fate or things happen for a reason....being told those things never really helped me...but I will say that finnian, kevin, joey, annabelle,daisy & lilah have two amazing parents who love them unconditionally & you & mike have amazing beautiful children who love you both unconditionally. you have to remember to take time for you. please don't forget that...u so need rest to. finnian looks like he is doing so well recooping from surgery...nice to see pics of him not connected to all of the machines....i am in awe of your stash of milk...i cannot imagine where you find the time to pump but what a wonderful gift for baby remember my thoughts & love are with you guys always...lots of hugs...

Angie said...

what an uplifting post from you Lisa. I love the photos of Finn and how he is progressing wonderfully :) it fills my heart with joy.

He is such a fighter. (((HUGS)))

T-rex said...

YAY FOR PROGRESS!! That is leaps and bounds if I've even seen then, and MAN is he a cutie! I can't get over all that blond hair. Your boys all together in that one shot make such a precious picture, and him being downgraded on the oxygen, especially, is a HUGE step.

Your whole pregnancy I so enjoyed your light and enthusiasm about it, even when we were having bleeds early on, and sore, and alternating between wanting it to be over and wanting to keep it going just a little longer. You have such beautiful memories of his pregnancy and birth, ENJOY THEM! And thank you for letting us enjoy HIM along with you, he really is a sweet little baby and I can't wait to watch him (and you!) grow together :)

Karly said...

Yay for good days. Your family is gorgeous. I loved the pictures of Finn with his big brothers and his thick blond hair is amazing.

I felt the same gratitude about not having a prenatal diagnosis. I actually work with a mom who found out prenatally, but not definitively (no amnio). She spent all her time crying and hoping the diagnosis wasn't true. Her DD is 4 and she still has sadness and guilt over how she spent her pregnancy.

Anonymous said...

I think you're amazing, Lisa. I am certain that yours and Michael's tireless love and devotion to Finn have everything to do with his progress. Finn's been on my mind every hour of every day, but please take a few minutes (if you can) each night to pamper yourself in some way.
The fact that you keep up this blog so well, not to mention the other million tasks you tend to might just make you the best multi-tasker ever!
He's soooo ADORABLE!


Janet said...

Hi Lisa again,
Jan from the large family board here. I love your thoughts for today. As soon as I read it I knew that you are making through this just fine. Finn is doing amazing- I told my 2 oldest children about him and show them pics and they think he is the cutest baby ever and that your other children are lucky to have him (they want a Finn too). You and Micheal are handling the situation perfectly, and I am relieved that things are looking up!
Love and hugs to you!!!

Carla said...

Oh my, Lisa, what a strong amazing woman you are. Little Finn is just over a week old and look at this last update from supplemental oxygen, no bili lights, no tummy tube, you've told Kevin about DS, all the milk you've pumped, and the list goes on and on. You are truly an inspiration to me! I wept at reading your words about not having done the prenatal said, so exactly and succinctly (sp.?), why M and I didn't do the complete work up. We knew we would continue the pregnancy no matter what and I so wanted to enjoy the pregnancy, period. You are truly a blessing to Finn and the rest of your family. I know each family has to make their own decision and I have no judgment of different decisions, but that is what worked for us. I agree with previous comments, please try to find one thing a day to pamper a little nap, tomorrow a pedicure, the next day a short walk by yourself...please just try.

Carla said...

P.S. I disagree, he totally looks like one of your clan! Maybe the hair and eye color are different, but otherwise I see you and Michael written all over him!

Jodi said...

My favorite picture is the last one - Finn looks so incredibly content sleeping next to his "Momma Ragdoll" - I can just imagine him thinking, 'This smells like my Mom!" Thank you so much for sharing so many pictures - he's just adorable.

I'm so relieved that he's making so much progress - that's wonderful news!