Finn's uro appt. this morning

Michael was able to rearrange some things for work and go to the doctor's appt. with me after all. Phew. When the doc started examining Finn, he asked if any genetic testing had been done on him besides Trisomy 21. I said, "No, not as far as I know, why?" And he said, "In some cases where both testes are undescended, we want to make sure the baby has XY chromosomes and not XX."

Okay, folks, there it is - this has been my worst fear, the thing that has kept me awake at night (well, that and a baby). Ever since we realized that both of Finn's testes seem to be missing, I have had this terrible fear that we were going to find out that he's not even really a boy, but a hermaphrodite.

It's all part of this bad dream. Ever since the moment Finn was admitted to the NICU . . . no, ever since Sue mentioned the simian creases in his palms moments after I noticed that from a certain angle, my newborn baby looked like he might have Down syndrome - ever since these things have unfolded, I've become tweaked, always expecting the worst.

My book club read and discussed a novel involving a baby with Down syndrome (The Memory Keeper's Daughter). Never thought I'd have a baby with Down syndrome, and here I am. My book club also read a book involving a hermaphrodite (Middlesex). Used to think that stuff like that only happened in other people's families, but now I'm not so sure. So that's the fear that's been robbing me of sleep.

But, enough suspense. The doc found both of Finn's testes, hallelujah. He really had to dig for them, and they're way up high in his belly, but he found them. He's ordering an ultrasound just to make sure, but he said he's 99.99% sure. He also said that in cases of "mixed gender," the outer genetalia is almost always ambiguous looking, and Finn's most definitely isn't - from the outside he looks all boy. We need to take him back in a few months for another examination, and if his testes have not moved down to their proper location by themselves by about 6 months of age, the doc said they probably won't and surgery will be required. The surgery would be an out-patient procedure, so no hospital stay.

So now we're basically in wait and see mode.