Thursday, November 20, 2008

On God

I attended a school function for Joey this morning. I took Finn with me (Michael is working from home today and stayed with the girls), and another mom from Joey's class, who is expecting a baby within the next couple of weeks, was admiring Finn in his sling. Somehow it came up that he has Down syndrome. One of the first things she said after I told her was, "Do you believe in the Lord?" I told her no, I don't, but inside, my jaw just kind of dropped. I don't get it. What does that have to do with it? Would my believing in God change anything? Would it make his Down syndrome go away? Or do people who believe in God just believe that I would cope with the diagnosis better if only God were in my life? And if that's the case, isn't that assuming that I'm not coping well?

Really, she was very kind, and I'm not dissing her or her beliefs; nor am I writing this in order to pursuade anyone to come to the conclusion that there is no God. I just don't understand it is all - what my believing or not believing has to do with anything, and why this seems to be a common theme in people's response when they learn that Finn has DS.

**sigh**

7 comments:

Momma M said...

I have had people tell me that they feel that people with Ds are "closer to God". I am not sure what, exactly, I believe, but that could by *why* you're getting those comments. Seems to be a popular belief.

Oh, and Finn is SUCH, SUCH a cutie pie.

Liz said...

I've also heard, and am one who believes, that special needs children, especially people with DS, are a special gift from God. Not a problem, not damaged, not any of those negative words. A challenge? Sure. But I believe that God selects families especially for the most amazing of his children... so that's my own Christian perspective for ya!

Jen said...

I really can't understand it either. It's almost like they say it as a consolation prize or something...oh, hey, sorry your kid has DS, but at least you've got the Lord.

Drives. me. crazy. I mean, believe what you want, and that's totally cool, but keep it to yourself.

JaybirdNWA said...

Children with Ds being closer to Heaven is an idea that I never could understand myself just as could be equally said that another child being closer to Hell (I know the later sounds absurd). But as a Christian and having dealt with John's diagnosis since the first trimester, I can honestly say that my belief in a higher being who loves me and desires the best for me (even if that means sending a little boy with Ds into my life in order to show and teach me some valuable lessons about the true meaning of life) has made it relatively easier to handle. Don't misunderstand me, it is still a journey that I wouldn't have chosen for myself but the faith that I have enables me to see the larger picture and to be open to the lessons that John is teaching me about life.

huggyporcupine said...

Hi, lurker here
My guess would be that people who are Christians would be less likely to abort than people who are not. That may be way over generalizing, which then that woman was. However, I'm pretty sure that pro-lifers are almost exclusively Christians.

doulamom said...

Man, I'm with you... That's So FRIGGIN wierd to ask someone! WTF?

dawn.mann said...

I agree with you, everyone has a right to believe what they want and it's makes me feel uncomfortable to have people preach to me but at the same time I know that this is just their way of offering support. I don't really like to share my story especially with people who have had nothing but perfectly healthy babies and experiences. They can't begin to comprehend what I've been through and I really don't want or need their looks of sympathy or pity. But I do know my faith got me through my babies diagnosis at 21 weeks, it got me through his emergency delivery at 33 weeks in a foreign country, it got me through his 6 and a half months at 3 different hospitals in 3 different countries and it got me through his passing. Sometimes your faith is the only thing that carries you through. Regardless of how you define your faith.