Urology appt. this morning

After a night of almost zero sleep (Finn is generally a good sleeper, but it seems like once every couple of weeks or so he decides to pull an all-nighter), I wasn't in the best mood this morning.

Also, let me preface this by saying that I tend to distrust urologists to begin with - I mean, really, you have to question someone who decides to go into that as a specialty. Almost like proctology. So on top of all that, as well as the fact that I already have a sort of grudge against this office for the way they've handled Finn's case from the start, I didn't go in this morning with the best attitude.

Michael went with me. So we get there and we are shown right back to an exam room and we hang out there for a while waiting for the doctor (whom we've never met before). He comes in a little while later . . . with a med student tagging along. Okay, fine. So the doctor is looking at Finn's file (we had also brought in a CD from Finn's ultrasound which the receptionist asked for when we signed in), and he says to us, "So what are you here for today?" Seriously. The look on Michael's face . . . I was a little worried about what he might say. Here's the thing: no matter how much they piss me off, these doctors, I always tend to feel like we're at their mercy. I mean, this is the last pediatric urologist in Orange County! It's not like we have 10 other doctors to choose from, you know? Michael asked him, "Don't you know what we're here for? You're looking at his file." I also asked him if he looked at the CD from Finn's u/s (he said he did; Michael and I both decided later that he was full of shit on that). The doc said, "I want to hear from you why you're here." As if we had some silly concern about our son that he might be able to explain away and send us on our merry way. I just looked at him and said, "His testicles are undescended." "Mmm hmmm . . ." He says. Then says something about Finn having had "several" GI studies done and his duodenal atresia. I said, "He had ONE GI study done and his duodenal atresia was repaired the day after he was born almost 6 months ago." So he tells me to go ahead and get Finn undressed, which I do. He proceeds to examine Finn - i.e., palpate his lower abdomen to find his testes. All the while he's describing to the student doctor, "You can see the flat, empty scrotum here . . ." Blah blah blah. I was honestly hoping that Finn was just pee on him (no such luck). He finds both testes, and then instructs the student doc to have a feel. I feel my face turning hot now. I was so offended. I mean, just out of effing respect, couldn't he have asked if we, the parents, minded if this other guy ALSO felt up our son? But as is usually the case with me, I silently seethed and didn't say anything. I just wanted to cry. I mean, really, Finn was fine with the whole thing. He was just laying on the table kicking and waving his arms and cooing and babbling, and I'm sitting there feeling pissed off and humiliated on his behalf.

So they finish their exam(s) and allow me to get Finn dressed again and then we're told, as I expected, that Finn needs to have surgery. The longer we wait, the more risks there apparently are of strangulation of the teste(s) which could result in losing one or both altogether. Typically they like to do the surgery before a year old. Depending on exactly where the testes are positioned, it would either be a laparascopic surgery, where an incision would be made in his belly button, or as is more likely, two small incisions down in his groin. It would be outpatient, meaning it would be performed in the hospital but he would go home the same day, and recovery would be minimal - he would be expected to be back to himself within a couple of days. The risks of the surgery (aside from the usual risks associated with anesthesia, etc.) mainly involve risks to arteries which could be damaged or severed, which would result in loss of the teste(s) (extremely rare). This is all the stuff the doctor told us.

I asked him if he's performed a lot of these surgeries, and I kid you not, he actually sneered at me like he was insulted. I think it is a perfectly reasonable question. This is my baby we're talking about.

I didn't like this guy one bit. He was a complete a-hole. However, Michael and I agreed that whether we like the doctor's personality and bedside manner is really secondary. The big question is: is this guy competent? I've never really doubted or questioned that Finn would need surgery to correct this problem sooner or later, and although it makes me feel sick inside, I'm okay with it. I just want to make sure that whomever is going to be cutting into him is someone who knows what they're doing. So we're going to see what we can find out about this doctor and take it from there.