I really, really feel like I am failing Finn. It's funny, because I vascillate between thinking that his weekly PT is completely overrated (as in, how much good can it actually be doing?? Isn't he going to figure all these things out in his own time anyway??), and feeling like each PT session we miss (and there have been several over the last couple of months, due to illness, like today, for instance) is going to set him back a terrible amount.
But it's not just PT - it's me. I feel like there just aren't enough hours in the day to do everything with him that I should be doing to help him progress. I feel so overwhelmed with everything lately, and this failure on my part - well, it's doing quite a number on me.
You know, I started out deciding I was going to delay solids for him because he just didn't seem ready - he wasn't showing any signs of readiness. But now he's almost 9 months old and he's still not eating solids, and I wonder if I missed the boat on this one. I mean, he's growing just fine on breastmilk alone (he weights 16 pounds, which is a pound more than Annabelle weighed at a year old), but have I set him up for more challenges by delaying solids? Is it just going to be that much more difficult to get him to accept solids because I waited? It seems so. That pinto bean incident was a fluke. He really doesn't like solids and spits everything out. Then I read other people's blogs about their babies - typical and with Ds - who are his age or younger, who are eating a huge variety of real, actual food.
Then there's signing. Finn doesn't know a single sign. Should he at this age? I don't even know. My other kids are learning plenty of signs from the Signing Time dvd's, but I haven't even attempted to teach Finn any signs. So another failure.
Then there is all the work I should be doing with him every single day to help him develop his gross and fine motor skills. And I'm failing there too.
And I know that when he gets to be 1, 2, 3, 5+ years old, and has delays - even if they are typical delays for a child with Ds - I am going to feel like shit because I am failing him.
Adieu - After more than two years and 555 posts (556 counting this one!), I'm saying goodbye to Adventures in Motherhood. I'm ready for a change, and I've started ...
6 years ago