Sunday, June 6, 2010

Save Your Pity


Notice anything different about this duck?


Disability is everywhere.


Before you furrow your brow and go "Awwwww . . ." in pity, you should know that this duck was doing all the things the other ducks were doing: getting around on land and in the water, chasing after bread crumbs, and squabbling and playing with her flock mates. She seemed perfectly content.

Don't pity my son because he has an extra chromosome in each of his cells. Don't pity him because he looks a bit different, or because he's slower to learn than ordinary kids. Don't even pity him because there are certain things he may never be able to do. And please don't pity our family because by some random twist of fate, Finn landed in our lives.

Save your pity for children who have nobody to love them, who are abused, neglected, or don't have shelter or enough good food to eat. Save your pity for children who are living in war zones, children who are suffering from terrible illnesses. Save your pity for families who desperately want but are unable to have children, or for families who cannot provide for their children, or who have lost children to sickness or accident, or who are watching their children suffer and waste away.

Don't pity us for the hardships you might think we have because of Finn. We are some of the most fortunate people alive.

And don't pity a duck who can swim and fly and make sure she gets her share of the bread crumbs.

5 comments:

starrlife said...

Pity the ducks etc. covered with Oil in the Gulf..... Not Finn the little darlin"!

Chromosomally Enhanced said...

great post...i am not a fan of pity...in fact I detest it...pity with no words is the worst...I agree pity the wildlife and people in the oil ridden waters...smiles

Sasha said...

Love this post. So true..So true!!!

The Hapa Girl said...

Lisa...you couldn't have said it better!

thara ravishanker said...

TBH I would not have realised if you hadn't pointed it out? Like CE- I detest pity especially wordless pity.

Over the past year, I've learnt pity is a dangerous emotion. I never tell strangers Abby had a stroke ever. Its not acceptable.

People should save their pity for death. Or, even better, use pity in a good way.